Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize