Plan B is the new Plan A
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
