dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
