Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize