We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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