my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
