is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
