K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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