the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
