i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
how do you play pong handcuffed?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
