Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
