I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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