Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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