Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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