I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
