remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
