When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
