dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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