Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
This is the high leading the old right now
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
