I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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