This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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