you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
