people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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