PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
