Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
