I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
