What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
