i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
