I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
We are all done wearing pants today
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
