She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
