i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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