plz talk dirty to me
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
