is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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