Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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