So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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