If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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