her vagine was all disorganized.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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