Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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