do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
