She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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