I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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