This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
