i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
