nut hugger
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
When are your genitals available?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
