I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
