Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
time to smoke my breakfast
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
