just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
