Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
