I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Do vagina's smell?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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