Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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