His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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