What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Gay?
German.
Pity.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
