sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
