I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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