Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
