if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
