I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
you will always have a special place in my vag
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
