Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
