i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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