One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
