he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
