i'm signing you up for texting rehab
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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