Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize