he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
