i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
