My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
