hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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