He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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